Someone Please Buy This Dude’s Canucks Playoff Ticket

Vancouver is going for the Stanley Cup for the first time since 1994 and one Canucks fan is not happy. Turns out he has tickets to Game 2. Not great tickets but any ticket to the game is a good ticket.

But the problem is the dude made a promise to his wife to watch a musical that’s in town. Now he can’t go and has to unload the ticket. His craigslist ad is copied below but if you live in the Vancouver area and have $450 to spare hit this guy up before he goes crazy.

I have to sell my ticket to the Canucks game 2, section 313 row 14. Hard Copy ticket

I am unable to go because I have to go to a fucking piece of shit musical with my wife (whom I love). I had agreed to go, and since the NHL decided to make the most retarded schedule they could, I have to give up my ticket to the Stanley Cup Finals to see some piece of shit musical with some bitches singing about some crap I don’t care about. It’s a terrible seat, you will have a terrible time at the game, the beer tastes like crap and costs $10 each… Price is firm because I don’t want to sell it.

e-mail me.

EA Sports Predicted Canucks Beat Bruins For Cup, Last October

I’m a video game junkie so I really appreciate the fact that the simulators are closer to real life than we normally think. That makes the fact I rock on NHL 11 and I would probably be just as good in real life.

EA Sports, the makers of NHL 11, predicted the 2010-11 season back with the release of the game in October of 2010 and their simulators accurately predicted the Finals matchup between the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins. And looking into the future the simulator said that the winners of the the 2011 Stanley Cup will be….. Vancouver.

The simulators accuracy is pretty darn good. They have predicted 13 out of the last 14 series so far including last year’s Chicago Blackhawks victory, which was a small surprise for many.

Here’s the entire series breakdown from EA Sports’ NHL ’11 Simulation Engine

Game 1: Boston 1 @ Vancouver 2 [OT]
Game 2: Boston 2 @ Vancouver 4
Game 3: Vancouver 0 @ Boston 1
Game 4: Vancouver 2 @ Boston 3
Game 5: Boston 2 @ Vancouver 4
Game 6: Vancouver 2 @ Boston 3 [OT]
Game 7: Boston 1@ Vancouver 3
Vancouver wins series 4-3

Even though the final Cup Winner is a few games from being eeriely accurate, not all that EA Sports predicted came true. For instance, the St. Louis Blues and Calgary Flames did not make the playoffs and Sidney Crosby did not lead the league in scoring although if he were healthy he probably would have. Check out all the final predictions here.

Bruins Win Game 7, Jack Edwards Goes On Celebratory Bender

If you live in the Boston metropolitan area and you see an older, nerdy looking guy in a suit running up and down the streets tossing Malotov cocktails at parked cars and busting windows with a goalie stick don’t worry. It’s just Bruins announcer Jack Edwards and the authorities have already sent out the guys with the tranquilizer darts to nab him.

Edwards is so happy, and piling up millions of $’s in property damage, because his Bruins won Game 7 against the Tampa Bay Lightning and will advance to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in 87 years.

Oh wait, that’s a typo. Meant to say it was 21 years ago. The Bruins haven’t been to the Stanley Cup Finals since 1989-90 season when a young Cam “Seabass” Neely was playing so you can see why Boston fans are a bit happy. It may seem like forever but this is Boston, not Toronto.

The Bruins were able to hold off the Lightning thanks to a stellar performance by goalie Tim Thomas. I don’t know if he predicted this win or not but as long as he keeps playing like that the Bruins will be just fine.

In the game the Lightning’s Steven Stamkos took a nasty puck to the face with a fluke shot and was taken off the ice. Like a true hockey player, Stamkos just told the doctor to stitch him up and put him back on the ice. With all the debate about head injuries and face shields you have to wonder how bad the injury would have been without the shield Stamkos was wearing.

Stamkos put on a full-mask and returned to the game to finish it out. Tough kid.

So, the Bruins go on and win a crucial Game 7. Good for them for getting that monkey off their back. Next up is the Stanley Cup Finals with Vancouver. Game 1 will be on June 1st at 8PM.

Kissy, Kissy! Downie Kisses Ference

Thanks to a stand-up performance on Wednesday night, the Tampa Bay Lightning forced a Game 7 in the Conference Finals against the Bruins. The win for Tampa came after the great performance by the Bruins Tim Thomas [see video] in Game 5 which seemed to motivate the Boston squad.

Tampa’s Martin St. Louis tallied 3 points to help the Bolts weather the storm fueled by the Bruins David Krejci’s hat trick. It was a crazy and exciting game that positions Game 7 to be a doozie and we all know that Boston has seen its struggles with Game 7′s.

To help the drama, this happened with 1:50 left in the third. An awkward confrontation between Steve Downie and Andrew Ference led to this interesting stare-down between the two players that ended with a …. kiss?

Canucks Advance To Finals With Double OT Goofy Goal

Facing elimination, the San Jose Sharks threw everything they had at Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo. The offense was clicking and the Sharks unloaded 54 shots on goal but in the end it didn’t matter. Luongo was there.

With all the criticism during the playoffs for not being consistent in goal, Luongo set up a brick wall and held off the Shark attack through 2 OT periods.  The Canucks offense wasn’t as active as San Jose’s but was there when they needed it.  Primarily, in the last seconds of the 3rd when Ryan Kesler scored to take the game into OT.

Monday night on the Sporting News Radio Show “The Overnight Takeover with John Harris,” I discussed with John some of the key factors for a Vancouver win.  The biggest thing was for the Canucks defensemen to become involved offensively.  When they do, Vancouver wins.  Making the plays, getting goals and just getting shots on goal are a huge difference maker for Vancouver.

The reason I point that out is that is what won the game for Vancouver in the 2nd OT.  But it happened in one of the most unusual ways.  In fact, let’s just call it what it is,….it’s an ugly goal.

Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa scored the game winning goal after the puck wobbled off the boards.  He then shot it on goal to everyone’s surprise and it went in.  Bieska later stated he was probably the only guy in the rink that knew where the puck was and he would be right.  I think a few of the refs and most of the Sharks still don’t believe it happened.  Check out the video below and congrats to the Canucks for making the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1994.

5 Tips For The Canucks Heading Into Tonight’s Game (Besides “Win”)

Tonight the series heads back to Vancouver where fans will help cheer on the Canucks looking to make their first Stanley Cup Finals appearance since 1994.

1. Believe in the Sedins

Early on in this year’s postseason the Swedish twin sensations took a backseat in the scoring department, and received a lot of criticism. As stupid as it may seem to criticize the back to back Hart Trophy winners (they’re pretty much the same person so that makes sense), the Sedins took it to heart and stepped it up in game 4. The brothers racked up 7 assists between them including this sweet pass that was just breathtaking.

So, to the Canucks – work it through the twins, and let them work them magic, and to all those haters out there – STFU and stop wishing they were on your team.

2. Keep workin’ the power play (while it’s hot)

Keep workin’ the power play (while it’s hot) – the President’s Trophy winning Canucks didn’t only finish this year tops in the league in points, but in power play percentage as well. Vancouver scored on 24.3% (that’s almost 1 in 4 = wow) of their power plays during the season BUT only 1 of those was during a 5 on 3 advantage. Yup, very different than what we all witnessed in game 4. If Vancouver hopes to win tonight and another 4 times next round, they need to take care of every extra-man advantage. It definitely seems to be working for them when they do it.

3. Continue to frustrate (injure) Joe Thornton

Jumbo Joe might have racked up some assists this series, but the big San Jose captain hasn’t scored since game 1. Thornton didn’t help his team out at all in game 4, especially after being rocked by that Torres hit.

With the big captain hurting or frustrated, the Sharks will be sorely lacking in the play-making department. That equals less work for Luuuuu and hopefully a series-clinching win tonight. By the way, Torres weighs in at an average 6’0, 216 lb. while Jumbo Joe is a solid 6’4”, 230 lb. Just sayin’.

4. Rattle Niemi

In theory this is saying “score” but the Canucks must try to put as much pressure as they can on the guy who has let up 53 (!!!) goals in the playoffs so far – yes this is the same Stanley Cup winning Niemi who was on the Blackhawks last year and won the starting job to become their cup-winning goaltender. Niemi has faced 64 less shots than the Bruins’ Tim Thomas and has let in 15 more goals (probably because Thomas does things like this) – that’s just crazy.

Niemi has already had some rough games in this series alone, and if the Canucks can fire a bunch of shots on him, good things should happen.

5. Prove all the naysayers wrong

This doesn’t just apply to tonight, but to the finals as well (yes I’m optimistic of a big win either tonight or next game – it’s inevitable). The Canucks currently have two things working against them used as ammo for their haters: 1) having gone 40 years as a franchise without a Cup victory and 2) being under the President’s Trophy curse where only 7 of the 24 previous winners have gone all the way.

Vancouver needs to prove to the hockey world that they’re for real and that this wasn’t a fluke. I really think the Canucks can be contenders for a long time, but they need that first Cup under their belts so they can believe in it just as much as I do. Get the win tonight, then it’s only four more until a parade is arranged. Doesn’t sound too hard.

Bruins Tim Thomas Sticks It To The Lightning

Bruins goalie Tim Thomas came out to the press after their Game 4 loss to the Lightning and did what any good player trying to motivate his team would do. He guaranteed a win in Game 5.

In today’s sports the “guaranteed” win has lost a lot of its luster. Players use it too much and don’t always deliver. But what makes Thomas stand out above the rest is that his team not only lived up to the prophecy but the win was helped out by the outstanding play of Thomas and one critical save in particular.

In the playoffs, momentum and confidence are everything. Should Boston go onto the Cup Finals, Bruins fans will be talking about the save by Tim Thomas that cliched their win and Game 5 and gave them the momentum to win the series. It’s one of those great moments in hockey when you can look at an individual play and say it was at that moment the team knew it was their time.

It happened in the 3rd period with Boston up 2-1 and the Lightning pushing hard to tie the game. Tampa’s Downie goes in to make a goal as Thomas is out of position. With a diving save, and the tip of his stick, Thomas miraculously stops the puck. Beautiful save.

Puckdoctor Links Survive The Hangover

Caity Lotz Lets Esquire Into Her Place

Esquire really struck gold when they conceived their invasive photo shoot idea, Me in My Place. Who the hell would have thought that photographing a hot chick in her apartment, wearing nothing but underwear would be something men would like to see? Apparently only they did. Here are some new photos of Caity Lotz in her place. I, for one, would not mind being in there with her.

Andy Brickley Has No Problem With Tim Thomas Predicting Series Victory

Tim Thomas made a bold proclamation in the wake of the Bruins’ Game 4 loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning on Saturday. He said that the Bruins will win the series.

There would obviously be concern if Thomas didn’t think the Bruins were going to win, but his bluntness about the matter may have come as a bit of a surprise. Athletes will a lot of times refrain from making predictions about the result of a series.

Modern Warfare 3 Debut Gameplay Trailer Is Frickin’ Awesome

Infinity Ward and Activision has finally released the first gameplay video for the upcoming Call of Duty : Modern Warfare 3. The game follows on the heels of its predecessor being one of the best selling games of all time so you can imagine the stakes were set very high for the game from the get-go.

Red Wings’ Rafalski planning to retire

In a completely unexpected turn of events, Sportsnet in Canada is reporting that Detroit Red Wings defenseman Brian Rafalski is set to announce his retirement in the near future, possibly on Wednesday. Rafalski, 37, just completed his 4th season with the Red Wings after signing a 5 year deal with them back in July of 2007. This past season he finished with 4 goals and 44 assists for 48 points in 63 games played. It is reported that injuries are the cause for his retirement, as he played through this year’s playoffs without an ACL in his leg.

Some of the Most Ridiculous Celebrity Demands and Riders

We’ve got the scoop from the good people at The Smoking Gun about some of the most ridiculous celebrity riders (you know, it’s like a list of demands that celebs ABSOLUTELY NEED before an event). We know food and drinks are standard but you won’t believe what stars like Katy Perry, Mariah Carey and Sarah P are demanding from hosts. Yikes, celebs, your bitchiness is showing.

Four Teams HBO Should Consider For 2011 Season

Last week the Tampa Bay Buccaneers declined their invitation from HBO to appear on this season’s edition of the popular show Hard Knocks–which means the network will be forced to find a new team to feature.

Last year the show made stars out of the cursing Jets coaches and running back Danny Woodhead. While it was good for the Jets it is apparent that the toll of having cameras following people around when they are trying to focus on keeping a job can be a distraction and some teams are not wanting that at the moment.

Dog Opens Car Door

NHL Playoffs Weekend In Pictures

The weekend featured a couple of well fought Conference Final games that saw San Jose fall down in their series 3-1 as the Canucks once again sparked on offense. The Sedin Twins and Alex Burrows helped control the Sharks and put Vancouver one game from their first Stanley Cup Finals in almost 20 years.

Meanwhile, the Bruins started to look like they were in control of their series going up 2-1 and finally figuring out Tampa’s Dwayne Roloson in goal. Instead, Stamkos and Co. geared up and surprised everyone with a 5-3 victory. Here’s a look at some of the action from this weekend’s games.

No Way Jose

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Game 4s Are Pretty Much Kryptonite for Boston

Seeing as I am a diehard Leafs fan, seeing the Bruins fail is almost as enjoyable as Toronto making the playoffs in the first place. With that said, it’s almost as if Boston wants to be made fun of for their perennial meltdowns in playoff game 4s.

Last night, the Bruins held a 2-1 series lead over Tampa, AND a 3-0 lead in the game. Sound familiar? It might not to you but the black and gold faithful know all too well the horrors of a 3-0 lead in a game 4. And yes this kryptonite is that specific.

Both in last night’s game and the Bruins’ first round match-up against the Canadiens, Boston held a 3-0 lead before they saw it erased before their eyes. Luckily for them, they ended up beating the Habs in OT, or else we might not be talking about any current game 4s for Boston.

How about we rewind a little further. Last year, up 3-0 over the Flyers, Boston completely melted down to lose three straight games leading to a game 7 at home. This is when it gets good. They were up 3-0 (there it is) in game 7 and lost the game and the series. Epic fail if I ever saw one.

Last round, Boston managed to exorcise those demons a little bit, finishing the sweep over the Flyers and not allowing history to repeat itself with a dominant 5-1 victory. So, they can win in game 4s, it just seems as if they don’t like to.

Here’s the thing. Tampa is what I would call a capital team – not because they like Washington or have tons of money, but because they capitalize on opportunities. Open the door for them, and they bust through it like housewives at Best Buy on Black Friday.

If Boston wants to make it back to the Finals for the first time since 1990, they need to close out games. Especially when they’re up by three freakin’ goals!

Right now, it’s a whole new series. Not only because Tampa tied it up at two apiece, but because the Bruins have flexed their muscles (game 3) and got punched in the gut when they weren’t ready, Houdini style (last night). You want to win the series, Boston? Do what you did against the Flyers (this year) and get that shit done. Otherwise, this game 4 “kryptoniting” could spell the end of your solid playoff run.

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