Bruins Jack Edwards Royal Rap (Imperious Conceit)

For those uninitiated into the world of Boston Bruins announcer Jack Edwards I can sum him up as the love child of Marv Albert and Gary Busey. To state that Edwards rambles off into an unknown world is an understatement and in the end that’s what we dig about the crazy dude.

Very few announcers out there will compare their teams rivals to Revolutionary War people. Even though there’s a reason why, that doesn’t stop Edwards from making his famous Imperious Conceit statement about the Montreal Canadiens. In that post-game speech, Edwards stated the Canadiens are “Hockey Royalty Who Dictate Morality” and the Bruins Were “Fighting The Good Fight.”

Now, with that in mind, I’m surprised the following video didn’t pop out earlier. One fan took the “Imperious Conceit” rant and made it a remixed rap! Spin that record, DJ!

As a bonus, here’s a video of Jack Edward’s Stanley Cup Soliloquy. It’s kinda like listening to a lecture in college by one of those crazy professors. You can try to take notes but in the end it won’t help. But Jack does have a great way with words and the music helps.

Four Reasons Why Atlanta Thrashers Are Better Off in Winnipeg

Has this happened before. Has a city lost 2 major sports teams to relocation in the modern era before?

Atlanta just can’t catch a break. The Atlanta Thrashers have all but said it’s officially official that the team will be moving north to the snowy plains of Winnipeg. That’s up there in Canada and it’s cold. How cold? In winter the single-most time consuming activity for a person is undressing after coming in from outside.

Despite the fight from NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who wants to keep his expansion team in Atlanta, the team looks to be moving. And those poor Thrashers can’t catch a break. The team never really took off in the Southern city and despite being courted by other cities to move the Thrashers weren’t even Winnipeg’s main team of interest. The Thrashers were their fallback team.

The Phoenix Coyotes were originally in the cross-hairs of the True North Sports and Entertainment group based in Winnipeg. This group wanted to bring the Coyotes back to Winnipeg (more here and here) but the NHL fought back hard and, for now, has kept the team in Arizona.

The Thrashers began play in 1999 as the NHL spread its sport into new, warm-weather cities. Soon the franchise fell into trouble as new owners were sought and then found in 2004 to help the team. Unfortunately the group of new owners had no interest in hockey, only basketball, and it showed.

Just a few years later the team is struggling to fill seats and win and now is poised to move. Even though technically there has not been an announcement about the move but it seems like the deal is all but done. Gary Bettman may think moving the Atlanta Thrashers to Winnipeg is a step back but I would argue that it is not. Here are four reasons why the Thrashers are better off in Winnipeg.

4) Arena

The Thrashers would be moving to the NHL’s smallest arena and that’s not a great thing for the NHL. Teams still make a good chunk of their income from ticket sales. The MTS Centre was built in 2004 and holds just over 15,000 people. The Thrashers Philips Arena held over 18,000 but averaged 13,469 (2010-11 numbers) so looking on the bright side they’re just 1,500 people shy of a sell out.

Only the Islanders and Coyotes averaged less fans. Even the small-market Edmonton Oilers have an arena that seats almost 17,000. The NHL will see the small arena as less desirable and the team may have the factor of higher ticket prices to offset the difference.

Yeah, this is much better than selling out a small Canadian arena

But the NHL needs to fill seats. There are a lot of teams in the league right now, namely in warm areas, that are just not filling the seats. Canadians feel they will do better since they appreciate the game more and I agree.

Why it’s a good thing: Give Winnipeg a chance. We all know Canada will support their teams and if they’re successful enough they can easily get a new arena in the near future and that’s a good thing. I think it’s better to have a small arena sell out constantly than have a half-empty huge arena.

3) Loss of expansion

The NHL expanded into the South in the 90s’ and one of their gems was the big southern city of Atlanta. The Atlanta Flames played there in the 70s’ before moving to another smaller Canadian city so not only are we seeing the NHL look bad for expanding into a market that doesn’t support them but we see history repeat itself and the team gets plucked away by our neighbors to the north.

Why it’s a good thing: History repeats itself. In the end the move to Calgary for the Flames has been a good thing. The city of Calgary supports their team and the team has won there. The Flames last year ranked #6 overall in attendance with over 19,000. Even the Oilers, who had one of their worst seasons on record, ranked #19 out of 30 teams with over 16,000. As we mentioned earlier, that Oilers arena is just shy of 17,000 which means the Canadian fans would still support a losing team because they know it won’t stay that way long.

Four of the top 10 teams in attendance are Canadian and there are only 6 teams total there. On the flip side, the bottom 10 teams feature 8 teams that have either moved or expanded into warm-weather climates.

Mowing the lawn in Winnipeg in July

2) Realignment

The Thrashers currently live in the Southeast Division along with Washington, Tampa Bay, Florida, and Carolina. By moving north the team would likely need to be moved to another division. If not the travel costs and toll on traveling on the players is going to be high.

J-E-T-S....Jets, Jets, Jets!

Why it’s a good thing: Many people want to see a realignment anyway. Detroit, one of the Original 6, is alone in the Western Conference and would no doubt love a move to Eastern Conference with it’s natural rivals. Giving a shakeup and moving a few teams around is a good thing since the league hasn’t really shaken things up in almost 20 years and several teams have moved or expanded since then.

1) The NHL hates Canada

The NHL (namely Gary Bettman) believes the future is in the States. Even though many consider the sport Canadian by nature, the NHL (namely Gary Bettman) believes it is not legitimate unless it follows the mold of leagues like the NFL and NBA and takes a presence in big U.S. cities. Somehow, the NHL (namely Gary Bettman) believes expanding into Canada is a lesser deal. I don’t!

The original markets of the NHL (pre-90′s expansions and moves) and Canada are what supports the NHL. The league needs to go where the fans are, not try to create fans in bulk. I’m all for expanding the sport into new markets but take your time. The NHL (namely Gary Bettman) failed in that aspect because they did it all at once and now the the economy and fan support are just not there to wait for a few generations to support a team.

Bettman seen here in front of a typical crowd at a Thrashers game

The moderate success of Major League Soccer (MLS) is a model that the NHL needs to look at heavily. Why? Well, the MLS is more like the NHL than the NHL is like the NFL. Low TV ratings and a rather lack of interest by the casual sports fan in the U.S. have not hurt the soccer league that usually doesn’t even get mentioned on SportsCenter.

In fact in 2010 the MLS average attendance was 16,675 spectators per game. The NHL drew an average of 17,072 fans. The MLS has also focused on placing teams in areas to build rivalries. Not just by saying that a city is big and has an NFL team.

For example, the Seattle team has been extremely popular but fans get a big boost by two new expansion teams in nearby Portland and Vancouver. Rivalry and competition are a great thing. Every fan in every sport has two teams they will watch: theirs and their rivals (just to see them lose).

How has the worked for the MLS? Well, they’re poised to overtake the NHL in attendance levels and take over the 4th sport on the list behind the NFL, NBA and MLB. So yeah, it’s working. It’s very likely that the MLS will actually move into #3 behind the NFL and MLB and also bumping the NBA down a notch.

How cool would it be, as a sports fan, to see NHL teams in Seattle and Portland. Yeah, I said “and” and I mean it. The NHL should focus on building the sport in areas in a similar fashion. Everyone loves a rivalry and I personally think they NHL should develop that nature to make a rapid fanbase. Plus, I know I’m in the minority here, but I think there should be a second team in Chicago for this reason. I’m weird like that. Probably because I played a lot as a kid without a helmet.

Why it’s a good thing: The NHL is now being forced to rethink their business model. The league can try to support bloated teams in cities struggling for owners and fans but that’s a losing battle. By refocusing their talents on keeping alive the franchises that will flourish in the future and letting the dead weight go, the league can create a stronger fanbase and better competition.

Canuck Lady Flashes Breasts to San Jose’s Penalty Box

The Vancouver Canucks ripped up the San Jose Sharks Wednesday night 7-3 to take a hearty 2-0 series lead in the Western Conference Finals. In that loss the San Jose Sharks racked up a ton of penalties, 51 penalty minutes, and one Shark in particular was singled out for his actions.

Ben Eager, the Sharks left winger, helped the Canucks control the game by contributing four minor penalties, two of which were converted into power-play goals for the Canucks. Eager’s faults included a roughing penalty and a then a cross-checking penalty as well as a 10-minute misconduct.

Eager got a goal in garbage time of the game and afterwards stood over Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo and started talking smack. Not exactly his best moment.

The game overall was sad for the Sharks who possess a huge arsenal of offensive talent. But taking 4 penalties for stupidity is a huge hole few teams can dig their way out of.

“It’s embarrassing,” Sharks center Logan Couture said. “That’s the only word that comes to mind about tonight.”

Even though Ben Eager was the clear factor in the Sharks meltdown I can’t blame him too much. Maybe the NHL league office will suspend him for that cross-checking penalty but I would like to present some photographic evidence on why Eager was so distracted. And I don’t blame him.

Check out Eager in the penalty box. It’s NSFW and features a lovely Canucks lady leaning against the penalty box and pressing her bare boobs up against the glass. The Green Men are awesome but the flashing chick is better! I’d head to the box 4 times as well if you could guarantee that there would be hot chicks flashing me there. You can check out the uncensored picture here.

I’d be more than….Eager to do so! So check out the video below, while it’s still up, and just know that it does contain nudity. If you’re at work just tell your boss you’re watching sports highlights but know it is NSFW.

**YouTube removed the video but we still got the screenshot below and another lower quality video:

Bruins Ads Mock Lightning Fans

The Bruins Tyler Seguin had a record game Tuesday against the Lightning. The rookie tied the record for most points in a period (4) as the Bruins tied up the series against Tampa. It was one of the best efforts by an individual I’ve seen in a number of years and the guys at Masshole Sports summed it up quite nice with their post Tyler Seguin Makes Lightning Look Like A Bunch Of Little Bitches.

But Bruins fans aren’t the only ones mocking the Lightning. The organization itself has issued a couple of ads aimed at Lightning fans. The first one compare the resurgent Lightning fans to the Loch Ness Monster. That was followed up by a more direct shot at the bandwagon fans of Tampa.

This ad was caught in the wild stating “Welcome Tampa Fans, Nice To See You Fixed Your Bandwagon.”  Nice.  Hopefully this series will go a full seven games so we can see what else the PR department has in store for Tampa fans. [via Masshole Sports]

Party On! Drunk Finish Coach Falls On Trophy

Finish goalie coach Pasi Nurminen celebrated a victory with his Finland team beating Russia in the IIHF championship game in true fashion and hit the vodka (I can only assume) very hard. Don’t tell Don Cherry. He’s still upset the Russians drink too much.

Pasi isn’t a minor though. He’s a seasoned veteran who just had a bit too much of the sauce. Ya gotta love that duty free liquor!

As the drunken coach is heading off the plane he missteps and falls onto the red carpet and right into the trophy. The good news is he’s too numb to be injured!

Bruins Wake Up From Hibernation, Hold Of Bolts 6-5

Wow….when the Boston offense wakes up it sure wakes up. The Bruins tallied up 6 goals in the first two periods to take a commanding lead on Tampa. Too bad they couldn’t stay on top for the entire game of the high octane Tampa offense as the Bolts didn’t stay down for long.

It helps the Bruins played rookie Tyler Seguin more in Game 2 after his solid Game 1 appearance after being called up for injured Patrice Bergeron. The move paid off big time. Seguin blew up in the second period for 4 points had two goals and two assists. The decision to call up Seguin was wise. The one to keep him out of the lineup for the first two series because the Bruins feared he wasn’t ready is now looking silly. But considering the rookie did very little in the last few weeks of the regular season helped the Bruins make that decision and who knows, maybe the benching lit a fire under the little dude.

Seguin tied a rookie record with 4 points in a period and now has 6 in the last two games. Not too shabby. His 4 point period helped the Bruins go up 6-3 on the Lightning but unfortunately someone forgot to tell the Lightning that it was Seguin’s night to shine. The Bolts stormed back to get the game to 6-5 but couldn’t get that last one to seal the tie.

The Lightning’s Dwayne Roloson entered the series with NHL’s best goals-against average and save percentage before the Bruins figured him out. Rolo was replaced for the third period by backup Mike Smith after allowing a horrible six goals on just 27 shots. Check out the series highlights below as the series is now tied 1-1 with Game 3 on Thursday at 8:00 PM in Tampa.

Green Men Update

A quick update on the Vancouver Green Men. Thanks to the guys at Bleeding All Blue we get this little snapshot which I just love. The Green Men get their suits pressed for the big occasion and dust off their Don Cherry cardboard cutout for an epic moment.

The announcer for the CBC and host of “Coach’s Corner” stated:

“The Green guys, they were funny at the time. And I liked’em. I really did. But when you get personal. When you get personal, with wives and stuff like that, then this is no good. This should never be.”

That of course just left the door wide open for ridicule.

Puckdoctor Links the Return of Jagr’s Mullet

Jagr Hasn’t Ruled Out NHL Return

After winning the Bronze Medal at the recent IIHF World Championships in Slovakia, Jaromir Jagr was asked if he’s considering a return to the National Hockey League for next season since his contract with Avangard Omsk of the KHL has expired. This is something we discussed just last week in an article I wrote asking if you would take Jagr back on the Rangers if the opportunity presented itself.

If Jaromir did return to the NHL, Pittsburgh appears to be the likely destination for the skilled Right Wing. However, when listing a handful of teams he would possibly play for while talking to a member of the Edmonton Journal, the Rangers were brought up in the conversation.

Boing!! Jennifer Aniston Deep Throats Banana in Lingerie

The movie is “Horrible Bosses” and it opens in July. In case that image just isn’t enough here’s some animated GIFs of Jennifer Aniston Deep Throating a Banana and licking a Popsicle! Glory, glory!!

Derek Boogaard’s death raises questions about head injuries in NHL

Forward had suffered a season-ending concussion Dec. 9, at least his fourth, but autopsy reports aren’t expected for several weeks. His brain was donated for research. It’s too early to speculate whether that last concussion contributed to his death. Salcer said Boogaard “was feeling good about things,” and the Minneapolis Star Tribune reported that Boogaard had told friends he was eager to work hard this summer and resume his career.

But Boogaard and his family wondered enough about the effects of those blows to the head to consider donating his brain to Boston University’s Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy, whose researchers announced in March they had found evidence of degenerative disease in the brain of former NHL enforcer Bob Probert.

Shannon Brown Did Not Bang Pau Gasol’s Girlfriend

As rumors swirl that L.A. Lakers Pau Gasol was fighting domestic issues with his girlfriend, one teammate came clean about the issue. Shannon Brown wants the world to know he didn’t sleep with Pau’s lady.

Atlanta Thrashers : Winnipeg Might Be A Bad Option

The Atlanta Thrashers, the south’s most precious professional sports franchise might be moving. (I’ll let you catch your breath or clean up your Coke) Yes, after 10 or so great seasons in the peach state, the Thrashers are looking towards Cana-tropolis of Winnipeg, Manitoba as their new home. With it comes the MTS Centre, a 15,000 or so seat state of the art arena that would immediately be the smallest in the league, by a mile.

So… Jousting During the Rain Delay of a College Baseball Game Happened

In baseball, rain delays almost always universally suck. Rather than orchestrating a dance-off, Radford University’s Mark Peterson and High Point’s Kyle Mahoney challenged each other to a pre-game duel while waiting for the weather to clear. Neat!. But… doesn’t this sorta seem like a bad idea waiting to happen? Maybe? Like, wouldn’t you rather break a collar bone diving for home plate vs. getting thwacked with a bat while riding a teammate’s shoulders? All I’m saying is it doesn’t seem very wise for anyone who’s taking their career in the diamond seriously. But, on the other hand, whatever. It’s amusing and, in the end, the only thing that matters is our entertainment.

And some BJs!

Game 1 Recap: Bolts Stun Bruins, Canucks Rally

What a crazy weekend of hockey. The NHL Conference Finals began this weekend as Tampa visited Boston and San Jose traveled north to Vancouver to kick off the last round of games before the Stanley Cup Playoffs. We expected some great action and we were not let down. Here’s a quick recap of the games.

Tampa Bay Lightning vs Boston Bruins

The Bolts blew into the Eastern Conference Finals with a 7-game winning streak thanks to the red-hot goaltending of Dwayne Roloson and a quick sweep of the Washington Capitals. The Bruins had a tougher time with Philadelphia but eventually found out that the Flyers goalies were easily flustered.

The Lightning easily showed their offensive power by going up on Boston 3-1 in an exciting first period which included all three goals scored in just 85 seconds. The Bruins rookie Tyler Seguin, brought up to fill in for injured Patrice Bergeron, scored in the first period in his playoff debut.

The Bolts also netted an empty net goal to seal the game but right after Boston’s frustration showed when angry Bruins started brawling. Milan Lucic, who punched Victor Hedman, and Nathan Horton were given game misconducts.

If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em up.

In the end the Bruins struggled with the speed of Tampa and their frustration showed. Considering the Lightning are 4-25-6 all-time at Boston we expect the Bruins to turn it up a few notches for Game 2. Boston is in the Conference Finals for the first time in almost 20 years and the rust showed. The last time, however, Tampa got this far they won it all in 2004.

Game 2 is set for Tuesday, May 17 8:00pm EDT

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San Jose Sharks vs Vancouver Canucks

The battle of underachievers began Sunday night with the Sharks getting a quick lead on the Canucks. Thanks to a late rally in the third period the Canucks were able to notch a win 3-2.

Defenseman Kevin Bieksa tied the game 2-2 about 7 minutes into the third period. Then Henrik Sedin gave the Canucks the lead when he scored on a power play just a minute later. The win gives the Vancouver Canucks their first Western Conference final win in 17 years.

San Jose looked good for the most part going into the third period with a 2-1 lead which included a goal scored on their only power play. Luongo held off a few burst by San Jose long enough into the third to get his team back into the game before Bieksa and Sedin scored.

What hurt Vancouver so much was the fact they blew their first 3 power plays. The Canucks struggled deeply in the first two periods with little offensive action on the power play. I’m sure Canucks fans are happy that their team work up in the third period to take a win but the Canucks are going to need a fire lit under them if they expect to hold of the Sharks offense for the rest of the series.

Game 2 Wed, May 18 – 9:00 pm EDT

Hockey Players Death Stuns NHL, Derek Boogaard Passes Away

The NHL and its fans lost a great young man this weekend when New York Rangers forward Derek Boogaard was found dead Friday. He was 28.

At the moment the cause of death is unknown but Boogaard was found by family members in his apartment in Minneapolis.  Given the nickname “Boogey Man” because of his physical play and intimidating presence, Derek was a fan favorite who was fondly remembered by his teammates.

Derek signed with the Rangers last summer but played his first five years with the Minnesota Wild where he donated his time to various charities.  In his NHL career, Boogaard tallied up an impressive 589 penalty minutes.  Despite his toughness on the ice, Boogaard had a reputation for being a nice guy off the ice as illustrated with his various charity work.

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman says in a statement that to lose someone so young and so strong leaves everyone in the National Hockey League stunned and saddened.

Even though he didn’t score goals that much, only 3 in his career, you can see the fans and teammates enjoying his rare offensive achievement. In 277 NHL games, Boogaard, a 6-foot-7, 265-pound winger, compiled 3 goals, 16 points and 589 PIM.

He was very popular during his time with the Wild, winning over fans with an ever-present smile and an eagerness to help out his new community. He was also loved for his willingness to protect teammates on the ice. He’s second on the team’s all-time list for penalty minutes with 544.

It was his teammates and his foes, though, who knew Boogaard best. They saw past the intimidating stare and the reputation as the toughest man in hockey.

“Unreal guy – just a really big teddy bear,” Wild goalie and former teammate Niklas Backstrom told the Minneapolis-Star Tribune. “Outside the rink, he didn’t want bad for anyone.”

Boogaard was active in a number of charities during his NHL career. Last season he started “Boogaard’s Booguardians,” where he hosted military members and their families at all Rangers home games. He also was active with the Garden of Dreams Foundation as well as the Defending the Blue Line Foundation, a non-profit foundation that ensures children of military members are given the chance to play hockey.
[via Fox News]

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